New journal post

Lately been very indecisive. Start to do something and then change my mind. Start walking up the stairs then change my mind turn around and walk back. Start writing this journal entry – decide to delete it  – decide not to delete it. Why am I doing this so often lately? Have not been feeling good, both mentally and physically. Fighting a cold. No longer am taking medication for my sleep disorder. Insurance denied for now. Cried last night. First time in while. How come this is my life right now? How do I get motivated to change it? I cried because I never imagined my life being so pathetic. I had such big dreams… what the hell happened. The only thing that keeps me going is knowing my life’s not over yet and I can change things.